I am a birth mom to 3 kids, adoptive mom to 1 kid, and a stepmom to 4 step-"adults." Yes, you read that right... 8 kids. I am wife of actor Michael Beach, home cook, taxi driver, herder of children, terrible housekeeper and blogger of mom truth.

T’was the Night before Christmas…The Mom Version

T’was the Night before Christmas…The Mom Version

T'was the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a thing was occurring, not even holiday spirit to rouse.
The stockings were not hung by the chimney or anywhere,
And the elf on the shelf was neither here nor there.

The kids were sleeping strewn across their beds,
While visions of their Christmas lists danced in their heads.
Except for the toddler who took a late nap
Would only sleep with an Ipad on her lap.

When out of the bed I snuck without a clatter,
While my husband was sleeping without a thought on the matter.
Away to the bottom of the stairs I flew like the flash,
As I prayed that I didn’t hear any little feet dash.

The moon shone on the bare tree in the corner
Giving the illusion that the one gift wasn’t a loner
And, what to my tired eyes did I wish would appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.

With a sigh, I got moving, a little more lively and quick,
Because unfortunately, there is no such thing as St. Nick.
With a whistle upstairs, my husband, he came,
As I hustled, and grumbled, and separated the to-do list by name!

"Honey, build this, and lift that, and put the elf on that shelf!
I’m on to the turkey! And stuffing! And some wine for myself!
I decked the top of the stairs and the top of the tree!
Now hurry! Let’s hurry! Its Christmas Eve!"

Around the house to all the hiding places I flew,
To get arms full of toys, and stocking stuffers too.
As gifts, tape and wrapping paper fly,
I keep losing the scissors, and throwing my hands to the sky.

And then, out of nowhere, I heard in the living room,
Some banging and clanging and curse words of doom.
I took a deep breath, and grabbed him a beer,
And went to help and spread some good cheer.

My husband was sitting on the floor with directions a mess
And his brow was furrowed with anger and stress.
A few doll house pieces did not fit at all,
And he was ready to throw the gift at the wall.

Fixing it caused our foreheads to wrinkle.
And wish that Christmas was actually done by Kris Kringle!
Then I put all of the gifts under the tree with a smile,
Because I knew in the morning it would all be worthwhile.

My husband stumbled up the stairs to bed,
While I went to the kitchen to prep the dinner spread.
I cooked and tasted and filled my mom belly,
That my kids like to jiggle, like a bowlful of jelly!

Full and sleepy, I felt like that jolly old elf,
So I ate all the cookies, in spite of myself!
With a slow blink of my eye and a shake of my head,
I knew it would soon be the 6am hour I dread.

Without a word, I completed my list with a checkmark,
The stockings were stuffed, and the tree glowed in the dark.
And as I finished off the last bit of wine,
I gave a nod to myself for a job done just fine.

As I lay my head on the pillow, I think of all moms
Because you make magic this season, some chaotic, some calm
And so I say, “For all the things that you do out of sight,
Merry Christmas to all mommas, because you make the holidays bright!"

The Thing I Hate Most About Working Out

The Thing I Hate Most About Working Out

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